There is an odd no mans land that I enter into when I am expecting a big project to arrive. It’s a completely different feeling to the days just post the completion of a project and even more removed from the feeling I have when I don’t know where the next project is coming from. There is a kind of tension in the air. A feeling that I don’t know exactly what’s coming and it could mean working crazy long days and losing my weekends with Pete. There is a determination to make the most of the time I have and a restless inability to do so. Like being ready to go out too early and pacing the house until the taxi arrives.

I can’t look for other work because I don’t know whether I’ll be able to compete both tasks. I can’t turn on the TV because that wouldn’t be working and would make me feel bad. I can’t focus on my yoga and I lose hours reading rubbish on the internet. I become waiting made flesh.

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